NY Police Officer Offers Tips On How Not To Get Mugged, What To Do If You Do Get Mugged

Via the NYC interwebs comes a best of Craigslist rant from someone who infers he is a NYC police officer, writing a humorous and angry diatribe about how to handle yourself on the street to minimize your chances of being mugged, and what to do when you eventually do get mugged after you've paid "$1200 for a studio in a shitty neighborhood." With the recent bout of assaults and muggings up here in Harlem, not to mention the rumored gang violence that has the community on high alert, it is best to go over some of his pointers.

He begins,

"So you've just moved into a new "gentrifying" neighborhood that's full of urban culture, cheap(er) rents, and wonderful friendly people. An odd lack of organic food stores and greenmarkets, but you can't have everything. So one day you're doing something FUCKING RETARDED like walking back from the store alone at 1 am or walking home from the subway while texting your sorority sisters back in the fucking midwest or something while SIMULTANEOUSLY listening to an ipod with the bright white headphones and you get fucking mugged."

He strongly suggests not fighting back as in all likelihood you're a "pussy hipster retard." If you were paying attention and desire to be of help in solving the crime, it is very important to get the details such as "sex, clothing color, clothing type, headwear, and direction of flight," of your assailant.

Soon the police will arrive, but, he wants you to know, not so soon that they are going to race thru red lights slamming into taxicabs just because you lost your phone. When they do arrive, they want the description of the perp, and will canvas the area with you in the car.

"We are now going to drive around and try to arrest someone. Quick con-law refresher for the lib hippy types: if you're in my car, and have given me a description, THAT MEANS WE ARE STOPPING PEOPLE WHO FIT THAT DESCRIPTION. If you told me they are violent or armed, it's probably going to be a felony stop. So when you tell me it's a 15 year old black kid in a red hoodie with a silver pistol, don't be surprised when the car slams to a halt and we jump out and stop a 15 year old black kid in a red hoodie."

The full self-help guide is here, Tips For Clueless People Who Get Mugged

(photo by Olivier)

Latest Attacks On Columbia Students Raise Question, Is Race A Factor In Recent Assaults?

Last week NYC The Blog reported on a mugging of a young man in Hamilton Heights, describing the victim as a "petite Asian man," which prompted a commenter to write, "Good to know it was a petite Asian man. I'm a petite white man, so I can be confident it would never happen to me. While we're identifying races, can you say what race the assailants were?"

Though the comment was dripping with sarcasm, it appears that not being Asian might serve the commenter well considering the latest rash of assaults last Sunday night around 113th and Broadway. The Columbia Spectator reports that seven Columbia students were assaulted, with Fox 5 wondering if the race of the victims played any role, noting that six of the students attacked were Asian. The photo at right captures the assailants on security cameras.

UPDATE: The NY Post is reporting that four kids have been arrested and charged with the assaults."The suspects - Deshaun Busby, 16, of Brooklyn; Lawrence Jones, 17, of The Bronx; Quentin Cox, 16, and Jan Germosen, 18, both of Manhattan - were charged with gang assault for allegedly participating in five attacks in a span of 17 minutes."

These assaults bring to mind an attack earlier this year in the same neighborhood that ended fatally when Columbia University graduate student Minghui Yu was assaulted during an attempted mugging. He fought his attackers off and ran into the street in an attempt to escape, when he was struck by a car and died later from those injuries.

Are the victims being targeted because of their race? Are these assaults the result of class frictions or town vs gown animosity? Likely that are three considerations have a role, as 'greaser vs socs' is a universal lubricant for antagonistic relationships between groups in any neighborhood, whether predicated on race, class, gender, or sexual orientation.

Or maybe there is a simpler explanation, as one of 84 comments noted on the Daily News' site when they reported the most recent attacks, observing that "Getting popped in the mouth has been a right of passage for Columbia students for 30 years. It's a pretty fair exchange for a life of privilege after college."

More NYC: NYC The Tumblr | NYC The Twitter